Please remember that some weeks are funnier than others.

In no particular order…


Where you going in Northumberland?

I can’t remember but it’s like that other Northumberland place with a castle.

So it’s Alnwicky?

No, they really stick to the rules.



As I walked by the actors in the Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody I handed out cuts of Italian meat.

Pastrami?

No, he was the first to ask for some. Greedy get.



Rory McIlroy’s favourite deodorant is Lynx Golf.



Can you believe I’m going to order percussion in a bun?

Drum roll, please.



I lost my job as a sommelier as I was Chablis dressed.


​(Five this week as I haven't updated it for a while).



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