Please remember that some weeks are funnier than others.

In no particular order…


Me: Hey Elton, what would you prefer?  A Dutch lager upright?  Or a German lager on its side?

Elton John: Amstel standing.

Me: Trick question, you're a recovering alcoholic, you can't have either.



I was surprised to see a vampire wearing a checky shirt but turns out it was Plaid the Impaler,


​
My auntie is so out of touch she thought X Factor was a Roman sun tan lotion.



What does Sean Connery call the beach lifeguard's toilet?

A shite for shore eyes.



(YES, I KNOW THAT'S FOUR BUT I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS PAGE FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS)


IF YOU LIKE ANY OF THESE JOKES PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE THE LINK ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 
​THANK YOU.